The Country Side
By: William Tue.Nov.30/2010
As we are driving along we see some farms and some old animal barns. We also see lots of fields and dust. The colours are so cool because they are so natural. We can hear the sound of the old tractors the combines. The wind is cool on my face as we are the only vehicle on the old dusty road.
The rocks and the dust get shot across the road by the tires. You can sometimes see the odd little lake and some trees. The car window is open just enough for dust to get in and it gets in my mouth and stuff. And my mom always brings snacks and drinks like powerade and Gatorade.
Because it’s a very long journey to my grandma and grandpa Thomas’ farm. The hay bails are just about ready to be hauled away for the animals. The freshly cut grass stuffs up my nose my mom has the same problem. The sand between my fingers feels like sand paper as it falls between my fingers. The hay smells fresh right after it’s put together with twine.
It was okay next time can you be more decriptive.
ReplyDeleteWilliam, this is very nice and good words to use.But you need your font size 12.Your Paragraphs are just right.
ReplyDeletehow are colors cold be more descriptive like in paragraph 1 describe how the field looks
ReplyDeleteIt's nice but you never start a sentence with and , and with because.
ReplyDeleteWilliam,
ReplyDeleteI like your title.
You have used some very good descriptive words and phrases. I was able to get a good visual picture in my head as I was reading.
You could have used an additional sentence to bring your writing to an end. It seems to stop suddenly.
21/25